Now That You’re Here

Our spring break trip to Albuquerque had a different feeling than visits back home over the past eight years since we moved away because in the eyes of everyone here, we are back!

On Sunday when Coryn walked into church before us, she told me that there were disappointed looks on the faces that turned to see her and didn’t see the rest of us coming behind her.  The old lady wall has moved from the east to the west wall and is filled with a new generation of old ladies.  Coryn took her chair three seats from Matushka Ingrid and Monica and Veronica sat between them.  Mike and I stood with Xenia and Justin on the oriental rug nearby with a newly engaged couple behind us and parents with toddlers and babies all around us.  Basil and Jonah headed to the bathroom hallway and claimed spots with the other teenaged lurkers.  They don’t know that the adults that also sit there are our friends and spies, but sitting in the shadows makes them feel safe and cool.

I turned to look around during the service instead of facing forward towards the altar.  Mother Rachael held someone’s child.  Though her boys are mostly grown, her arms are never empty during services.  On our side of the church stood my dear friends Kelly, Christa, Dobrina, Jennifer and Louanne, and I saw many other beloved faces on the other side where we used to stand eight years ago.  Women who hold me up in prayer and are happy for me when I’m happy and sorrow when I’m troubled.  Women whose lives I know.  I see them as the warriors they are because their battles and victories through the years are written in our prayers for each other.  I saw our dear choir members, Diane and Ed and my new friend Celeste, and so many new friends in the making. 

I felt close to Mom as Father Nikolay walked around the church swinging the silent censer towards the walls filled with icons of saints, a remembrance that God is the God of the living and that the saints worship God with us.  I thought of Michael, and Rebecca and the man who used to clean up the bread crumbs after communion before Krag came to do it, all who have passed away before us.  Their presence lingers in the sanctuary in vivid memories.  I prayed for Quint who had passed away on Friday and remembered his smile and the way he used to tease me.

No need to tell the priest our names when we went up for communion for we are beloved by Father Nikolay.  Coryn and the boys stood with us in the communion line, a united family.  It felt so good to worship together.

The altar boys brought out two bowls of Koliva after the service.  One for Quint and one for the one year anniversary of Rebecca.  Diane came over to me and asked me to fill the cups after the service, so after the prayers for the dead and the singing of Memory Eternal, Rebecca’s son Aiden and I stood together serving the koliva in Dixie Cups and plastic spoons for those who had come up to kiss the cross.  I remembered the Thanksgiving Mike and I spent with Rebecca and Aiden with their mashed cauliflower instead of mashed potatoes.  It was Aiden who introduced Mike and I to the Orthodox Church over two decades ago.  We go way back.  It was fitting for me to be there in that place.  People greeted me with warm smiles and words of comfort and encouragement to Aiden. 

This trip is different from any of the other visits we have had in Albuquerque.  People have always been glad to see us but now they say, “Now that you are here, this is what you can do.”  Please put me to work dear friends because that is how I know I’m home.

I once heard a story of a bishop who was very revered by all his spiritual children.  When he would go home to visit his sister, the first thing she would ask him to do was to take out the kitchen trash.  We don’t need the help of company though it’s nice when someone offers to do the dishes.  We need our family to pitch in and make living together bearable.  We need friends to take up our burdens and experience with us the joy that comes with living and working alongside one another.

We realized after our trip out for Christmas how much we were needed in Albuquerque.  Though we had intended to stay in Fort Worth another twenty years, when we started talking about moving on our drive back the possibility became more and more real.  After we broke our intentions to the kids, Mike and Xenia started looking for houses on the internet.  We found one that looked especially perfect and pointed it out to our real estate agent who encouraged us to come out right away to look at it instead of waiting for spring break.  Mike, Xenia and I flew out the next day.  It was even more perfect in person than in the pictures.  We looked at a few more houses to see what a treasure we had unearthed.  It reminds me of the property I grew up in back in Vancouver, Washington with a beautiful lawn and a multitude of fruit trees. We put in an offer three days later.  They counter offered.  We accepted.  Mike flew out for a couple of days to be present for the inspections, and on Monday of our spring break we closed on our new house.

I had hoped this week would be full of visits to the zoo, Albuquerque Biopark, and museums, but on Monday the kids had a shadow day at their new school.  The rest of the week, I was busy meeting with contractors and carpet people and a handyman.  Our real estate agent has been a huge support to us during this process.  Mike was able to let us handle most things so he could work from Coryn’s dining room.  Coryn has kept busy keeping the kids fed when they were over at her house watching their fill of Disney Plus which we don’t have.  They have spent time each day visiting our new house and getting to know the village of Corrales.  Xenia and Justin walked to the library and found a fun playground near it. They’ve gotten to spend time with their cousins too.

I know they are struggling with the big change and working to find their new places here, but they are more accepting than I had feared they would be.  I’m so glad for that.  I drive down the streets with the Sandia’s dusted in snow from our surprise snowfall and feel so peaceful and happy.  I don’t think I could ever leave here again.  It’s hard enough knowing that I need to come back to Fort Worth at the end of the week.

Back in Texas I return to another few months of long good-byes.  I have made many friends and some kindred spirits from whom it’s hard to tear myself away. I thank God that Albuquerque is on the way to many places, and we expect to have many of our friends come to visit.  I don’t recommend moving to anyone unless they are moving home.  For me, Albuquerque is home.