It’s been interesting reading my newest manuscript and comparing how much life has changed and how much more it has stayed the same in the last ten years.
I read a couple of stories from my Syra’s Scribbles manuscripts about the beginning of Lent and attending the Cannon of St. Andrew. There were years of going with little children crawling over me during the prostrations. That’s when we attended almost every service. Then as the kids became teenagers with extracurricular activities and resistance to attending the extra Lenten church services, we divided and conquered with someone representing our family at each service. One year when Basil was a high schooler in Texas, and I dropped him off by himself, he texted me a ten-second video of people prostrating and the question, “Will I live through this?” After I recovered from the embarrassment of knowing he had his phone out at church, I texted him back, “Yes!”
This year was different yet again. I missed Monday because of Xenia’s gymnastics, but Coryn and I made it on Tuesday. Tuesday afternoon Xenia came home and fell asleep. We are all dragging around under the influence of the Juniper tree. My face felt like it was about to explode with sinus pressure, and we all had stuffy noses. Xenia woke up at midnight after eight hours of sleep ready to cook dinner, make crafts, and study for her Wednesday science test. I was up with her until two or three when I couldn’t stay awake any longer. She begged me to homeschool her. I told her how much I hate homeschooling. She asked me to quiz her with her flashcards and was upset that I don’t help her with her classes. How does she expect me to rise up to homeschooling when flash cards feel so onerous? She went back to sleep at some point too since I had to wake her up at six for school though she jumped out of bed ready to go. Me not so much. It was hard for me to get going and after an exhausting day, I didn’t make it to church Wednesday night.
Thursday however Jonah, Xenia, Justin and I joined Coryn for a peaceful service. No complaints. Full participation…until Justin fell asleep on a bench. He’s twelve, too old for that, but still my baby. Mike stayed home because he pulled a muscle in his back and has been in pain all week. Esther got her ashes at a drive-up Ash Wednesday service off of Alameda. With their work schedules, she, John Ben, and Misha didn’t have any other beginning of Lent services with their Catholic church. Sophia doesn’t go to church with us anymore. I reached out to Basil to see if he went because I know how much gaming he’s been doing lately.
I texted, “Were you at church last night or did gaming keep you away?”
He texted back:
“I was at church!
And then at games after gosh”
I spent a lot of time ten years ago writing about how I thought life would be like when I had grown children. I worried that I wouldn’t have any influence over them. I have a lot more influence than I feared but as little control as I thought. Even when I could “make” my kids do things, I didn’t have control over their inner lives. I can’t make the kids go to church with me the way I could when they were little and I carried them out to the car, but now when they go and participate it is more meaningful.
Blessed Lenten journey
Syra's Scribbles 