The week before the Fourth of July, Mike and I vacationed in Fort Worth. Esther, John Ben, and Misha had fun back in Texas with John Ben’s wonderful folks, and Jonah, Xenia, and Justin caught the bus at St. Peter’s Church up to Camp Raphael in Oklahoma. Mike worked from our hotel while I went out visiting and every night for dinner we reveled in all the fine dining that Fort Worth has to offer. I saw so many dear friends including John Ben’s folks and missed so many more. My thanks to the friends who showed up at Altitude for a weekend playdate before the kids left for camp and to everyone who met me for breakfast, or lunch or hanging out or long drives or even for simple hugs. There wasn’t enough time, but I cherished all the opportunities to love my Fort Worth friends.
If you missed me, don’t worry I have my spiel all worked out. Everyone wanted an update and here’s how it goes.
We love living in Albuquerque with all of Mike’s folks. It’s great fun to meet up with all his siblings and their families! Our house is great and we would love to have you come visit someday.
The kids? Well, I have a Basil story for you! Remember how in my last update I mentioned that Basil had texted me to say he wanted to talk to me? Remember how I thought he was calling to check in and tell me how much he loved me? Yeah, that’s not what was on his mind.
He and I texted back and forth all weekend and he finally called me on Monday night after all of America had gone home from work.
After a friendly hey and hello, Basil said, “I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I’ve decided not to go to college next year. I’m going to take a gap year.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I’ll live with you and go to the gym every day. I’ll read good books, and you can teach me calc two. I’ll join the church choir and learn Gregorian chant. It’s going to be great!
“Basil, that’s not what a gap year is. A gap year means you take a year off between high school and college to work full time.”
“I can do that.”
“You have no experience. I have no idea what kind of a job you can get. Maybe your uncle who works in a warehouse can help you.”
“That sounds good.”
“If you are homesick and don’t want to go to a college so far away, you can live at home and go to UNM. They have engineering degrees, and it’s way less expensive.”
“I could do that too.”
“Is there a reason you don’t want to go to Embry Riddle Aeronautical University in Daytona Beach, Florida? I thought you were really excited about it.”
Then the truth came out. Basil had missed the tuition deposit deadline. He had missed the housing deposit deadline. Aside from receiving the congratulations package with confetti last fall, he hadn’t done anything to secure his place at the university, and he was afraid he had lost his spot.”
“I’m glad for your mental health that you are so optimistic and can accept what comes your way, but this is not the time for that. You have to send them an email tonight. You have to call them and find out what your status with them is!”
He promised he would, and we hung up.
The day before I had been thinking about how much I loved motherhood and grandmotherhood. With one crisis, I spiraled down into anxiety for everyone. Esther and John Ben were exhausted from her sleepless nights with their newborn, and Esther had joint pain from her ligament disorder. Misha hadn’t breastfed because of starting out with a tongue and lip tie which had made it hard for Esther to snuggle with him. Pumping was going well but everyone else had to bottle feed him since he could smell the milk on her and couldn’t understand how to get it. Sophia thought she might have kidney stones and had almost gone to the ER because of the abdominal pain. Jonah was missing most of his summer with summer school because he failed two classes and therapy to address his trouble writing. The depression he had fallen into during his stinking school spring had lifted but he wasn’t his old happy self. Xenia and Justin had just been in to see a doctor who was worried about whether they would be able to enter puberty with their weights at the lowest percentiles.
The next morning, I called Daytona Beach Aeronautical University at nine Eastern Standard Time. The admissions office assured me that they would be glad to take our tuition money at any time. They admitted that they weren’t sure if Basil was coming until they received his email the night before, but there was a bed in the dorms for him and a seat in the classroom. He had lost his chance to pick the dorm and would be assigned two roommates instead of one. He would have the last choice of classes and class times. All fair consequences. I heard a lot from Basil over the next week as he paid the deposits and filled out the forms. He’s ready to head to Florida, and I’m looking forward to our drive out there together in August.
With that settled, my other kids’ problems felt more manageable. After coming back from her Texas/Ohio trip, Esther was able to get Misha fully breastfed aside from a big bottle at night. She and John Ben set up a patio lounge where deep thoughts, weighty papers, and PhD applications were produced with purpose. They began to go to a local gym which helped Esther’s joint pain and got back to going to church many mornings. I took my turns holding the baby, but Jonah also became the favored uncle. He loved getting out of homework with the excuse of rocking Misha to sleep, which he had a knack for. It’s been so good for Esther to be able to spend time with her family this summer where we can take care of her. Being a first-time mother is hard, and I’m glad I can mother her through it.
We all love John Ben too. It’s been great fun playing through the Pandemic Legacy game with them this summer. John Ben makes the best Chicken Parmesan I’ve ever had.
Misha has been the focus of my summer! I take every chance I get to hold him and play with him. As Esther and John Ben have come and gone or as I’ve been away, it’s been amazing to see the leaps of development Misha has made in each week or two. His smiles used to be so rare that I would mark them in my daily Bullet Journal. Now he smiles all day long. He is a joy. He hangs out with me in the morning at watches from the highchair as I empty the dishwashers, and I like to pile the laundry on him and unburry him as I fold. I show him the double rainbows, and we hang out on the back porch listening to the leaves blowing in the wind and the neighbor’s animals greeting the day with crowing, bahing, and braying.
Jonah finished his classes and enjoyed both Camp St. Raphael and two weeks at the Antiochian Village. He had a spot of fun summer trouble too. He had taken to being out at odd hours on his one wheel. One day he decided to roll up and down the path that runs through our village alongside the irrigation ditch. At the cement dam waterfall section, he got the great idea to tie his belt around a tree and use it to see how far he could hang out over the water. Some walkers saw him and called the police who found him at his antics.
“What are you doing?” they questioned him.
“Just being stupid,” he admitted.
“Okay,” they said and let him be.
I love this story because it captures how involved the police are in our little community which makes me feel very safe. I love that our speed limits are low and the police can be seen going up and down our road all day long. I am glad that people call them in when they see something suspicious. I also love the way that the police are fine with letting kids be kids as long as they aren’t hurting anything.
Sophia hasn’t had any more abdominal pain. She is excited to move in with us in September and is registered to take some online art classes from a college in Colorado. She’s very helpful around the house, and I look forward to her company. She, Mike and I spent a lovely week in Oregon on an extended wine tour for a belated twenty-first birthday present. We used a van service for a coastal wine tour, a waterfall wine tour, and a tour of wineries along the Willamette River Valley. It was odd vacationing in the Pacific Northwest without visiting all my friends, though Naomi took us out on Tuesday and my best friend Melanie and her mom met us on Thursday for Moroccan food and belly dancer entertainment. Sophia says she understands the differences between all the types of wine now, and she, Esther, John Ben, and Mike have enjoyed drinking the bottles that Mike and Sophia picked out to bring home.
I started buying a lot of ice cream over the summer for the kids, but it made Xenia sick early on. Still, she managed to gain some weight and curves and is a little woman now. Her hormones were strong, and our four cycles were almost synched up that month when the four of us went out to high tea at the St. James tearoom, an experience Xenia had been begging for all summer. We looked grand dressed up in our fancy clothes.
Sophia and Xenia sat on one side of the low table on a cushy loveseat.
Xenia asked, “Why is there so much room between us and the table?”
Sophia said, “So women could fit their big poofy dresses.”
I had visions of women in beautiful Renaissance gowns, but I said, “Next time we should wear our period dresses.”
I was oblivious to how that sounded until Esther and Sophia snickered and Xenia asked, “What!”
Sophia giggled again and said in a loud whisper, “Mom said PERIOD dresses.”
Xenia said, “I know, but that’s not funny!”
At which all four of us laughed again.
This time of my life is no different than when the kids were young in the strength of my hopes and fears for my children, but it is nice to have them so grown up. I’m glad to be here to enjoy all these ages and stages.
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