Grandma Life

Early August 2023

Esther video chatted with me on Tuesday, on a mission to feel me out, but I am one of the most oblivious people I know.  I took a break from organizing the pictures and icons which were spread out all over the sofas in the great room and sat in a stuffed chair overlooking the windows in the front of the house.  Our prayer corner is set up but where to put everything else is a puzzlement.  I listened to Esther chat away and encouraged her with hmms and aaahs still wondering if the kids had picked out all the icons they need for their rooms.

“Hey Mom, we’ve found a wonderful Melkite Catholic church in town.  It’s a kind of mission and there are a lot of FAMILIES with little CHILDREN and BABIES rolling around.  I look at them and wonder what I’m doing without one, but then I go back to school…”

“Mmm, Hmm” I thought about my church in Albuquerque which also has a lot of babies and toddlers.

“We’ve been KIND OF following natural family planning…”

I had no clue what she was trying to get at and gave her no encouragement aside from polite murmurings.  I adjusted the phone trying to decide which side of my face looked better.

Finally, she said, “Mom if I were to get pregnant would you like me to tell you earlier or later.”

Still in oblivion, I didn’t suspect why she would ask such a question.  After having lost two babies myself I answered, “You should tell me early so I can pray for you.”

“Well then, Mom, I’m pregnant!”

I sat up straight and looked into her eyes, “Oh, Congratulations!  I’m so happy for you!”

I snagged Mike who was walking past so Esther and John Ben could share their good news with him.  We are both so happy for them.

Then I went online and bought a grandma T-shirt and went to Target to buy a sleeper for my new grandbaby.  I’m ready. My prayer wall is set up and the rug already has slight knee imprints from the prostrations that I’ve done over the past few days.

Already I see how much easier being a grandma is than being a mother.  I have a universe of love for my grandbaby without the burdens and worries that came with each of my positive pregnancy tests as much as they thrilled me.  As a mother, it has always been hard for me to let go of the burden of control.  I’m an overachiever and want to do everything right.  Now it’s not me watching everything I eat and everything I do.  I won’t be agonizing over sleep positions and when to start cereal.  God calls me to a deeper place of love and prayer, and I say, “Yes, Lord.”

My friend Lynda and I are both first-time grandmas.  After church on Sunday, we were geeking out over the babies in our parish.  I see all these adorable little children in cute outfits, and I think, “I want one of those and one of those and one of those.  I like the baby with the big eyes and chubby cheeks and the little girls in pigtails with matching bloomers to their dresses, and the little boys in suspenders. I love them all!” 

I can’t wait to meet my grandchild.

Update:

It’s now the end of September, and Esther has just started her second trimester.  She had her first ultrasound, and baby and mom are doing great!  Please keep them in your prayers.  Esther’s siblings are very excited to be aunts and uncles, and everyone is looking forward to being together at Christmas.