Graduation Witness

The journey of motherhood from finding out I was pregnant with Esther to attending her college graduation has not been what I expected.  This weekend felt like an ending, but my older friends assure me there is still more to come.  That may be, but this weekend made me feel how diminished my active role has become.  It’s morphing into something I don’t yet understand.  I was once the whole universe.  Now I’m an orbiting moon. I’ve aged out of event coordinator to guest and interloper.  From provider to silent backer to gift giver.  From main player to witness.

In some ways though being a witness to my child’s being is my most important role.  I was there from the beginning with all my hopes and dreams.  I was there for Esther’s first steps, first words, first smile.  I was there for Dr. Seuss’s ABC’s, reading her first story written on pieces of paper stabled together, and publishing Esther’s novel Doubt Thou.  Though I couldn’t understand her college senior thesis, Descartes and Desdemona:  Shakespeare’s Othello as a Parable of Cartesian Doubt, I saw how hard she worked and know what an accomplishment she celebrated as she kissed the bishop’s hand and took her diploma.

I enjoyed the meet-and-greet before Esther’s college graduation ceremony.  Her friends and tutors told me nothing I don’t already know about my daughter.  Esther is an intelligent, articulate woman who makes herself beloved wherever she goes.  She thinks deep thoughts and her faith is important to her.  It was huge to me how appreciated and admired she was.  I love that she found a place where she was celebrated for being the wonderful woman she is.

I witnessed her relationships with her siblings and her first friendships.  I saw how she grew in grace and confidence in herself.  I saw her first boyfriend and watched her relationship with John Ben grow and flourish into the beautiful marriage it is about to become.

Even though I was conscious of being one of the few non-Catholics in the audience, I was able to see the value of the community Esther has found in Catholicism.  As the speakers at the commencement reveled in their accomplishments in the good work in spreading Catholicism and supporting Catholic education, I thought Esther must feel a blessed unity with the speakers, her tutors and peers and the greater Catholic Church.

What a great place Esther is in as she goes off to graduate school, gets married, and sets up her new life.  I see her going forth shining her light before all and making the world a better place for being in it.  This is indeed a season of joyous celebration of all that is right with her.

Esther read this and told me, “You’re still the center of my universe, Mamma.”