Moving Home

This June after eight years in Texas, we will move back to Albuquerque, New Mexico.  We made the decision ahead of the cold front that put our lives on hold for an entire week.  A pause granted to us to sit with our thoughts and feelings. After the whirlwind of considerations and determinations came the quiet of the world shrouded in ice.  We were granted time to share the news with our friends one by one.  As I sit writing, the ice is crashing down from the roof, and I think about the news hitting our Fort Worth friends hard.  So far though everyone has been sympathetic and supportive.  We are moving to Albuquerque to be close to family, and that’s all I’ve needed to say.

School was closed for five days.  We weren’t able to get down the driveway despite all the time the kids spent outside playing with the snow shovels.  In between dishes and laundry which never stopped and playing the guitar, I had lots of time to reminisce.  As I worked on Syra’s Scribbles V, which takes place in Albuquerque amongst all my friends and Mike’s family back in 2011 and 2012, I remembered why we left such a loving community and uprooted our family to come here.

Eight years ago, I was drowning in responsibility between taking care of a baby, a toddler, and Mom while trying to homeschool four kids.  Esther was in middle school where my dislike for history and science was hurting her.  I wished that she could learn from teachers who were passionate about their subjects.  I had always admired the classical model of education but failed to implement it.  We had tried one middle school in the area and only felt the negative influences of the secular world.  There was one classical Christian school in town, but it was clear from their narrow statement of faith that they wanted to weed out Eastern Orthodox families.  We were out of options.  Since Mike’s company was located in California, we didn’t have to stay in Albuquerque.  Then we searched the whole of the United States, and this little preschool-through-high-school Orthodox Classical school in Fort Worth, Texas popped up like an answer to prayer.  At the time, looking at the map, it didn’t even look that far away from Albuquerque.

Oh, those first few years were hard with little to no social net to catch us when Justin nearly died after getting into the Advil or when our plumbing went out and we had to flee our house.  Even after we started making friends at our church and the school, life in Fort Worth was an exercise in the movement of society.  Almost every year since we moved here, I’ve had a new best friend.  Is there something wrong with me that I choose for myself friends who come and go?

2022 was especially hard on me.  The flight of our last headmaster prompted a turnover of teachers that included my two best friends at the school.  I get along with all the staff and love the new headmaster and the teachers who have come aboard this year.  It’s not that different from previous years when friends have moved away or taken their children to different schools, but somehow, I’ve found it hard this year to invest myself in new people.  My church is no different.  All the intimate friends I’ve made at my parish have moved out of state, out of town, or over to another parish.  I worship with familiar faces, but the people I like to spend time with outside of church aren’t there anymore. 

When we moved to Fort Worth, I saw all the wonderful universities in Texas and the good economy in the Fort Worth/Dallas metroplex and had grand hopes of my children going to college only a few hours away and coming back home to start their adult lives.  I expected to be surrounded by my growing family.  Then Esther went out west, and Sophia moved east.  Sophia is settled in Tennessee and has no plans on moving back.  The daycares out there pay much better than those close to me.  Esther and John Ben intend on moving to Ohio where the rent is half of what it is here.  What is there to tempt them to come back?

What is there here for me?

The Fort Worth classical school has given our kids the education we wanted for them, and for many years we fully intended on staying here until our youngest child graduated.  Two years ago a new classical school was founded in Albuquerque by folks who welcomed Eastern Orthodox, Catholic as well as all protestant believers.  My friends reached out to me and told me we could come home again.  We knew that some schools don’t last and were hesitant to leave back then, but now….

We had the best time when we were in Albuquerque this January.  Basil and Jonah spent a lot of time with their friends going to church services, ice skating, and a big sleepover for New Year’s Eve.  Justin ran around in a pack with his fellow boy cousins.  The landscape was beautiful.  The green chile was delicious.  I breathed better than ever.  I have so much more energy when I’m away from all the plants that bloom in Texas and give me allergies.

Most importantly we spent quality time with Mike’s parents and realized that they are getting older.  They are the same age now as Mom was when she moved in with us.  They aren’t in crisis as Mom was when she moved from my hometown of Vancouver, Washington to our home in San Diego.  Mom was alone with no children or relatives nearby.  Mike’s dad is remarried.  Mike’s mom has her brother and sister with their spouses, children, and grandchildren.  Two of Mike’s brothers are in town with their families.  Mike’s parents aren’t as portable as Mom was. If we want to spend time living near them, we have to move back to Albuquerque.  If we want to be near to help them when they need us, then we need to move now.

It’s to be with Mike’s family and especially with Mike’s mom that we have decided to move back to Albuquerque.  We told the kids on Friday after school.  Justin and Xenia cried.  Fort Worth is all they’ve known in their short lives.  Albuquerque for them is a place to visit. 

Basil was incredulous.  He asked, “This can’t wait for one more year?  You know I’m a senior next year?  Could I stay in this house by myself?  Could I live with my friends?  If we have to move, can you buy me more computer games to plan online with my friends?”  The last was a compromise we could make.  Two of his closest friends here have left the school, one for a public school and another to be homeschooled. Basil loves the occasional sleepovers and evenings hanging out with his friends, but most of his time socializing is already done online. 

Jonah called his friend Alex in New Mexico as soon as he could.  We will be able to celebrate the boys’ fourteenth birthdays together when we come to Albuquerque to house hunt over spring break.  By the evening when Justin was playing Minecraft with one of his classmates online, he told her that they should focus on the time they have left.  Xenia is leading us in our search for a house and has liked half a dozen properties on Zillow already.  It will be hard, but I’m glad they all have a chance to say goodbye to their friends before we leave at the end of June. 

Mike and I are also finding ways to spend time with our friends here.  My calendar is filling up with lunches and playdates with friends who I’ve waited too long to reconnect with.  Between my work schedule and family responsibilities, I’ve let time pass with good intentions to meet up in the indeterminate future.  A future that is now limited to five short months. I am blessed with many friends here in Fort Worth who are dear to me even though we aren’t daily friends anymore.  Leaving them is the hardest part of the move.  I’m thankful for the internet and my blog which keeps me connected to friends far and near.

I dreaded Monday when we were going to return to school.  My students who love me and hoped to have me for all their middle and upper school math will miss me.  Our family has been part of the school community for eight years.  We are almost a fixture.  I’ve called many of my fellow teachers and parents of my children’s friends.  People understand the importance of family.  Everyone wants to be close to their mom.  People also understand movement.  We are fortunate to have a home to go back to where family and friends have not moved away or have moved away and come back.  It’s rare in this world to find a community that lasts over time.

My dread of Monday was postponed until Tuesday and then Wednesday.  Thursday school was canceled, and Friday made it a full week off.  I can only imagine that our news will have spread far and wide by the time we go back.  People will have had time to process their feelings.  Maybe this ice storm was just for us.