I come out of this past month a little worse for wear but much happier. When I looked in the mirror this morning, I saw a face made round by the ten pounds put on by comfort chocolate and white hairs in my eyebrows. The new streaks of white along my brow weren’t totally unexpected, but white eyebrows? My friends at church saw the joy in my countenance at vespers last Saturday. Though worry has aged me, the relief of having Sophia at home took a weight off my shoulders and I could believe that despite my gray hairs and extra weight, I look more youthful than ever.
Sophia hasn’t been happy at college this semester and it got progressively worse from the first set of tests till the approach of midterms. Why hasn’t college worked out for her? I don’t underestimate the detriment of spending her senior year doing isolation schooling up in her room. Georgia sounded great with a huge scholarship being offered to an impressive college, but rural Georgia has its own culture almost like another country. She had taken enough credits in high school to give her a year’s worth of college, but she wasn’t ready to take the sophomore and junior level classes that she was put in right after high school. There were many other factors too.
It was horrible waiting for a call. She might call to tell me of the antics of her cat Tax Fraud. She might call despairing over her classes with a misery that I was helpless to assuage. I offered to bring her home for spring break, but as midterms approached Sophia recognized that the pressure and stress were detrimental to her wellbeing. I supported her in coming home for good. She stayed at college to enjoy a spring break farewell with her friends. The weekend after, I flew into Atlanta and drove with Sophia back to Fort Worth with all her stuff and her cat.
Sunday evening, we had dinner with Mike’s cousins in Atlanta. I am so glad to have met them and to now have them in my life. We made plans of getting together again. They are such good folk.
On Monday I walked around campus with Sophia while she checked out of her classes and returned her books. We walked until my legs hurt, and I returned to the hotel room to rest. She and I went out to eat at the Olive Garden with her friends and then she dropped me off again. They didn’t think it would be fun to have a mother present during their last game night.
When the residence hall was open, Sophia turned in her key and picked me up. We had each eaten breakfast on our own. Looking back, I rue not going back to Atlanta to find our way to I-20 as fast as possible. The GPS directions suggested a more direct route home through the windy roads of Georgia and Alabama and a meetup with I-20 in Mississippi.
Sophia was driving fifty miles an hour on the deserted rural highway in Georgia half an hour into our trip when she started jerking forward.
“Are you barfing?” I asked.
She nodded as her mouth filled with vomit.
I emptied the plastic grocery bag filled with car snacks and held it under her chin. She took a hand off the wheel to clutch the bag closer to her lips. She threw up over and over again.
“Pull over. Pull over,” I said.
We cruised over to the paved shoulder in front of a four-way stop. She opened the door, threw the bag of barf down on the ground, and leaned over to throw up again. I opened a bottle of water for her and gave her a handful of tissue. She rinsed out her mouth and wiped off her short leather skirt.
“What do I do with the bag of barf?” she asked.
“I’ll take care of it,” I said.
She went to the back of the car and took off her skirt. Her leggings were clean, so she dug out another skirt and put the dirty one in the trunk. I picked up the bag with my fingertips and threw it into the ditch on the side of the road. The sky was grim and overcast. Rain would come to wash it away. If we had been on the freeway, we wouldn’t have been able to pull over at such a secluded spot, but if we had been on I-20 maybe she wouldn’t have been carsick. Second guesses are a way of life for me now.
I drove a while longer before she had me pull over so she could throw up again.
Get it out of your system I thought. I wished she could purge herself of the ideas that contribute to her despair and lack of faith. She’s come back from this experience worse for wear as well.
It rained for the entire state of Alabama. I slept through most of it, but every time I woke up, we were hydroplaning. I figure Sophia was trying to save on gas by sliding through the whole state which might have helped since gas was close to five dollars a gallon until we got to Texas where it dropped just under four dollars.
Tax Fraud, Sophia’s cat, cried in his carrier for the first part of the ride, so we took him out. Sophia had mixed melatonin in with his wet cat food and he spent the entire drive sleeping on the passenger’s lap or creeping from his perch on my suitcase to look out one side window to the top of the cat carrier to view the other side. He decided he loved me as all cats do, and I was pleased that my nose didn’t start running till we got to Texas. I’m more allergic to Texas than I am to cats. Tax Fraud also kept me up all night long running around in the hotel room when he wasn’t sitting next to me staring at me or walking over my stomach.
We had the best fried green tomatoes in Mississippi for dinner on Tuesday night, amazing crawfish etouffee the next day in Louisiana for lunch and were home for a late dinner on Wednesday. Instead of eating, I dragged myself to my room and fell into a deep sleep.
Sophia wants to work for a year. She’s applying everywhere. She’s eager to move out on her own as well. We think it will be for the best. A year of stability and learning that tests are important but not life-changing will be good for her. She’s young, and the world is before her. Whether she’s working or going to a local college, I feel much better knowing she’s within reach. Nothing does my heart better than seeing my daughter with my own eyes. I’m not afraid of getting a call that leaves me feeling helpless the way I did when she was clear across the country.
I’m glad to have my Sophia home.
PS
She was just hired as a nanny for a wonderful family whose father works at the private school my kids attend. They will be good to her, and she will be a blessing to them.
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