What’s the worst that can happen? In this day and age, it’s scary sending kids out on adventures on their own. We hear about children being kidnapped all the time. That’s one reason I don’t let my kids go adventuring at the park all by themselves. If the kids want to go exploring together, they have to give me a general plan for their expedition, and if they leave yelling distance then at least one of them needs a watch so that they can return before I get worried.
Back in my day, Mom would sit in the car reading murder mysteries while Ellen and I ran off to do whatever we felt like. Most days found me up in a tree at Esther Short Park or walking along the wooden rail fence at Mill Plain Park. Some days I’d bike a couple of miles to visit the library and then find a grassy place to sit and read. My parents bought me a city bus pass when I was nine and told me to always be home by dark. No cell phones. No accountability. There was crime then too. I remember when news stores of Jeffrey Dahmer frequented the newspapers before he was known and caught. We found out later that he had been at some of the parks we frequented.
After my parents’ divorce when Mom moved my sister and me to the property Mom grew up on, I’d be gone all day trekking through the woods, making my way down to Salmon Creek, and climbing up the dirt cliffs. I’d rather be outside than inside any day.
Jonah turned twelve on Sunday, March 7. Xenia is ten, and Justin is eight. As long as they stick together, I feel like they are safe from stranger danger, and if someone falls and gets hurt they could send a sibling for help. My biggest worry in Fort Worth, Texas is snakes in the woods, and that beautiful day after the snowstorm, it was certain that all the snakes would be hibernating. I never imagined the type of trouble Jonah would encounter.
Remember how I was telling you about the beautiful weather we had following snow-pocalypse? A bunch of mothers from the kids’ school met at Oakmont Park after school on Wednesday. The skies were a pure, cloudless blue. A light spring wind carried the smell of new growth and the sound of birds chirping. After playing with their friends, Jonah, Xenia, and Justin begged to go down to the creek for a nature walk. I looked at my phone and thought it was 4:45 though it was only 3:45 and told them they had to be back by 5:15. Jonah glanced at his watch, said “Sure Mom!” and ran off with his siblings.
One by one all my friends left. I stayed at the playground, staring in the direction the kids had run, wishing for the novel I was reading, The Clockmaker’s Daughter. The pregnant lady on the bench beside me struck up a conversation. She moved to Fort Worth two days before the snow fell, and she and her husband used their shut-in time to unpack all their boxes. She was thrilled to have escaped a state with draconian isolation laws.
She said when they left the airport and unmasked, she told her beautiful toddler girl, “Baby, you will never have to wear a mask again!” It’s better that her two-year-old will be able to go mask-free while she is so little and can start seeing the smiles on people’s faces. Even without a state mandate, masks will be part of our lives for many years to come. I loved not getting sick this winter and will choose to continue to wear mine at grocery stores.
Then I heard shouts of, “Mom! Mom!” coming from behind us. It was twenty past four. All three of the kids ran up to me and Justin said, “We’re back and you didn’t even have to call the police.”
I may or may not have threatened to send out search parties if the kids were late coming back after previous adventures. I appreciate the kids’ keen awareness of how much I worry and see how much they try not to cause me anxiety. In turn they have more and more freedom as the years go by. It’s consideration for me and fear that I’ll take back the keys that keep my teen drivers checking in with me when they are out and about.
I looked over that the pregnant lady and wondered what she made of Justin’s statement. Would she approve of a mother letting her children go off galivanting without supervision? Her face was unreadable, but she smiled when I told her it was nice talking to her. I think mothers should parent at their own comfort level which is different for all of us and is different for every kid and hope other mothers will extend the same grace to me.
“Let’s go kids!” I said and used my gravitational pull to guide them towards the park exit.
They had walked along the side of the creek for about half a mile until they came to a bridge they recognized from our walks to a little waterfall. Then they pushed through the wooded area and climbed past the trees, vines, and creepers to get up to the path. Jonah led the way breaking a path for his smaller siblings. That’s why they came from behind me.
Two days later on Friday morning, Jonah woke Mike and me up at six thirty. The left side of his face was red and swollen. I got up, gave him a dose of Benadryl™, and sent him to bed. He slept all morning long and when he woke up looked just as bad. His right cheek was now red too and he had a fever. We saw the doctor at two thirty.
She took one look at him and asked, “So what has he been doing the last couple of days?”
“He went for a walk in the woods on Wednesday.” I told her.
Jonah launched into his account of the creek adventure.
“That’s what I thought,” she said, “He has a classic case of poison ivy.”
She pulled out his arm and pointed out the lines of scratches from the poisonous vine. They looked innocent enough. It was the full-bodied autoimmune response that caused all of Jonah’s misery. I would have thought that after all the snow the poison ivy wouldn’t have been an issue, but my friend Debbie said that they currently look like fuzzy vines and are just as important to stay away from. It’s harder to avoid them without their tell-tale leaves.
Jonah opted out of the shot on the bottom though I should have encouraged it. The regime of steroids and anti-itch pills takes a long time to work. It felt right to let Jonah choose for himself. I make many decisions for him, but it’s his body and he clearly didn’t want a shot. The doctor was ambivalent. I hoped for Jonah’s sake that the pills would work.
Jonah couldn’t sleep Friday night or Saturday night. During the day he wasn’t as uncomfortable but, oh man, has he been grumpy. Steroids don’t bring out the best in a person. By Saturday evening his face was red but not swollen. He was still miserable on Sunday and got so little sleep that he stayed home on Monday. After work, I took him back to the doctor for the steroid shot. Since then, I’ve learned that both my sister Kimmy and Auntie Pat are both very allergic to poison ivy. Kimmy said she always needs the shot. Jonah was better soon though some itching remained for the next week and his birthday wish was for the itching to end.
I’ll add poison ivy to my list of fears for the adventuring children, but poisonous snakes still top the list. I’m so thankful that we live in an area with a park full of families and children that feels safe. My kids have more freedom than many of their peers though far less than I had, but it’s a privilege. This is a dangerous world, and times and places where children can experience a sense of independence without being hurt are precious. Even though it’s been a trying week for us, I don’t regret sending the kids on their adventure. If they wanted to go again, I’d say yes. At least now they know to stay away from the fuzzy vines.
Syra's Scribbles 